Came back from a weekend away on a Monday – via train. Apart from the usual fight to sit in the seat you actually booked and there being nowhere near enough luggage space – so many people seem to be travelling with suitcases these days – we were treated to a business call from a fellow passenger for most of the journey. Here are some snippets which made us snigger, the speaker is in bold, my comments are in italics. The woman (sorry, but it was a woman) did like to speak rather loudly mainly, I suspect, to let the rest of us know how important she was. Hope you enjoy as much as we did:
I’m on train. I’M ON A TRAIN. Thanks for that, because we weren’t too sure.
I’m just going into a tunnel. I’M JUST GOING INTO A TUNN…OH Mercifully for us, we had almost three minutes of silence, but she did use this time for some very active and LOUD one finger typing – I have to say I was mesmerised, I’ve never seen the middle finger used so forcefully!
…multi-generational project… What??
…stakeholder criteria….. What??
…no appetite for it…. It was making me feel sick, so I understand why there was no appetite for it.
There’s a typo on point 3.2.1
There’s a typo on point 3.6
There’s a typo on point 4.5.9 I’m sure your one finger typing will soon put those right.
The above phrases were repeated several times and always at full volume. She also had the loudest mobile phone ring I’ve ever heard. There were four tunnels on our journey so the tunnel shouting was most emphatic, she was determined not to be cut off – didn’t work, snigger, snigger.
Her best phrase came towards the end of our journey:
‘We’ll have to verbally tell them….’ Just loved this, wonder how she usually talks to people… think she probably anally tells them!
I’m working on ways of including the above in my next book …