Here’s another taster from Little Mishaps and Big Surprises – due out in JUNE!
Excerpt from chapter four
Zippy’s stupid face is still grinning at me at I get up and pull on my dressing gown. I fling my Bungle body over it so I can’t see that stupid grin before I stumble down two flights of stairs craving my coffee and cereal.
Zippy’s stupid body is sitting at the table eating my cereal.
‘I thought you had a plane to catch,’ I snap. ‘I thought you had to leave early.’
‘Going soon,’ the reply comes. ‘Just eating.’
I scrutinize Zippy’s face without the mask. He’s Chinese. I don’t remember that. I shake my head and put the kettle on, glancing back at this stranger who I have slept with. Wow, I must have drunk a lot.
I make my coffee before opening the fridge for milk. There is none.
‘God’s sake,’ I mutter under my breath. ‘No milk.’
‘So sorry,’ Zippy says, grinning. His bowl containing my cereal is swimming in milk. Greedy arse.
I don’t reply but open the cupboard to hunt for the long-life milk I keep for emergencies. It’s usually right next to my cereal. Except my cereal box isn’t there. I fling open a few more cupboard doors. No cereal. I’m angry now and getting angrier as I flip open the recycling bin to see the empty box in the bottom.
‘You ate all my cereal? Really?’ I cut open the milk carton and pour some into my coffee.
‘And what was all that bullshit about you having to leave early?’
Zippy stares at me with confusion in his eyes.
‘Forget it.’ I wave my hand at him. Maybe I dreamt it in my alcohol induced stupor. ‘I wished you hadn’t eaten all my cereal though.’
The front door opens and CeCe and Yan come in giggling. Are they going to be giggling all the damn time? I’m so sick of it.
‘Hey Charlie,’ CeCe says, smiling. ‘Great party.’
Yan puts a Tesco bag on the worktop. He pulls milk from it and a box of cereal – Tesco’s version on my cereal.
‘Sorry my cousin ate all your cereal.’ CeCe takes the box from Yan and hands it to me. ‘I’ve bought you another.’
‘Thanks.’ I take the box and stare at it.
‘They didn’t have your usual brand.’ CeCe smiles sweetly at me.
‘Well, thanks anyway.’ I put the box down and pick up my coffee.
‘Sorry my cousin is so greedy. He’s like that.’ She gives her cousin a playful slap around the head.
‘Your cousin?’ I suddenly have a flashback to the things her cousin and I did. I shudder; I must have been wearing some strong wine glasses last night.
CeCe’s cousin has finished his breakfast and is now standing up, shaking hands with me and saying goodbye to CeCe and Yan. Then he’s gone, clutching Zippy’s head – which he’s retrieved from under the table – under his arm. He must have moved ninja-like to get upstairs and retrieve the head from my room without me noticing. My hangover is must be worse than I thought.
‘He’s so much shorter than I remember,’ I voice my confusion.
‘Is he?’ CeCe frowns at me but follows it up with a smile.
‘Yeah.’ I sigh and examine my new cereal box. ‘Much.’ I’m sure that we stood mouth to mouth when I got my hair stuck in his zip. It’s just as well I’m doing Dry January, I obviously drunk far, far too much alcohol last night. My body could do with a break.